Mr X and I have been in touch this last little while, not vocally but via text, whattsapp and email. It seems no matter how hard I try I will always end up allowing him back into my life.
This last little while I have been looking at the events of my life between 20-30 and despite all the trials and tribulations, you know what... I haven't done much, I've been stagnant and I haven't enjoyed it one bit. Without a doubt I'm not going to let next 10 feel the same. I am going to take as much from every opportunity that I can and if that means loving deeply and having my heart torn out again then I guess I will try to welcome the things I learn from the bad experiences as well as soaking up the warmth from the good.
I can't help but wonder where my life could have ended up if I had made different choices along the way these past few years. I don't regret anything but I can't help but think I haven't exactly carved the best path from the opportunities I was presented.
This car will be a piece of freedom. I think its about time I dusted of the Mary Poppins inside that in the past always seemed to keep me on the right path. People tell you to settle down, lay roots, stop being so impulsive and so you listen and try to wind things in (in my case particularly in the last 5-6yrs) and yet it is clear to me now that this was the worst decision I could have made. I'm not meant to be a 'feet on the ground' person and trying to fit that mould has in some ways forced me to suppress the things that make me great and the things that make me me.
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Alone - Alyssa Reid ft Jump Smokers
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