Eyes Wide Open

I've had a bit of a reality check this last few days, I mean what exactly am I doing with my life at the moment?  

Its like everything is on a stand still and I'm running round in circles rather than setting out to grab all the things that I know I want.  I seem to be lost in a haze and while I seem to set those I meet along the way on the right track, I somehow forget to help myself.

Time for a list of things to do I think.  And a deadline.  Every good list of things to do needs a deadline.  Ok, time to focus and think... By the end of August where do I want to be and what do I want to have completed?

• Update my CV and start to apply for 'real world' jobs again (at least 3).
• Have a certain outcome of what is happening with University.
• Have a holiday booked & paid for (I definitely need one this year).
• Do another clear out and throw away at least 2 bags of things I no longer use/need (less is definitely more).
• Don't just think about dating but actually go on a date, with someone I haven't yet met (no easy options).
• Lose 10kg through diet and exercise (no arguments).
• Go on a road-trip (do all or at least half the driving).

I could probably list 101 things or make the few I have listed more dramatic, but the aim is to actually complete the list rather than to shelf it after a couple of the days like everybody does with most 'to do' lists.

Now would be the time for me to realise I know someone with some serious connections that could help land me the perfect job in a new city as it would kick start me in the right direction.  Yep, time for a change bloggers, and if you see me losing my way over the next couple of weeks, post a comment to get me back on track.

Today's track, and indeed the first tune for July is by a band I discovered this morning as they were mentioned to me in a comment by a reader.  I'm sure you know I'm a chick who loves her music by now and from what I've seen today, these guys are definitely one to watch.  In fact, I bought tickets to one of their gigs a few mins ago.

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Young Guns - Crystal Clear

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOQ0F105otA

Crossroads

I'm seriously debating packing everything up, selling anything worth while, saving as much as I can and sodding off somewhere in June and to hell with it all.  Bad idea?

Mr X leaving in three weeks has provided me with a catalyst.  My current flatmate 'Walliams' will be leaving at the end of May as his masters will be finished and he wants to look for work by his parents in Norwich so really there couldn't be a better time.  The question is, would it be 'just what I need' or would it be Ser3ndipity a-typical response to life.  Get bored. Fall into a whirlwind of disaster.  Pack up.  Move on. Regret it later.

At the moment work is going extremely well, although it is far from the career I wish to pursue and while Uni has taken a massive sideline and I'm a crap load behind (an essay and a dissertation proposal due in the next 2 weeks which I haven't yet started and exams around the corner) I think if I go into super dedicated mode for the next 2 months I could pull it back.

All I know for sure is that today I felt compelled to start sorting through my things.  I currently have 2 bags of items for the charity shop, two bags of stuff for the bin, and I've begun to list the things I could flog on ebay.  (2 mannequins, a blackberry still in its box, an old laptop...)

I think a fresh start could do me the world of good, but I don't want to throw it all away and regret it later which seems to be a common theme when I look at the twists and turns that my life has taken so far.

Am I just looking for an excuse to run away from everything?  What would you do?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Pink -  Fuckin' Perfect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4Rax2PXiWA