Freak Out

I have woken up with a whirlpool of emotions in my stomach due to a really vivid dream I had last night.  

The bad news - I'm struggling to shake the feelings it has evoked.  

The good news - It's definitely put me back on track for my 'to do' list.

Ok so in short, I had a baby to OOJ, how, why and when were all omitted all I know is I was really unhappy about the fact.  When the baby was born it was mega, like mega tall!  Toddler type baby.  None of the clothes I'd saved to buy were big enough and the nurse in the hospital felt so sorry for me in my teary state at the first check-up that she gave me a £65 voucher for a funky baby clothes store.  The baby was a girl, I called her Oliva, her first word was said during her first week and it was 'The' and she could read and write from the word go pretty much.  Oh and I didn't want anyone to know I had a baby in case they guessed it was with OOJ who I was certain I found repulsive in the dream.

Yowzer!  Talk about the hormones of aging along with a pretty full on message screaming 'Ser3ndipity get your sodding life sorted out'.  I have to shake the shudders, and fast!

What else has been happening...

My team at work are making my job a breeze at the moment, we all have summer sun vibes going on and despite a few recent and difficult changes we seem to be gelling all over again which is great.  A few of us are heading to pub quiz tonight so that should be cool.

I've started to look for Herb's b'day present but I'm really struggling.  Ideas are welcome.  So far the only thing I have that is remotely appropriate for the type of gifts we give each other is taking her to a gift experience place where we go on a segway trek.

I spoke with Pooch last night, he said that his sex life with Waves is still non-existent and so they went to the doctors again as she uses IBS as her reasoning most the time.  Apparently the new doctor thinks she has an endocrine disorder and Waves has told Pooch that having a baby is the best solution.  He has bought this fact but has failed to tell her that he never wants to have a baby with her!  Mental!  A guy staying with a girl who clearly wants children knowing he will never want them and so fucking her chances as time ticks on.  And a girl who has managed to convince a guy having a baby will fix her medical condition and at the end of it maybe they can have a sex life.  (btw I googled this, and there is no evidence what so ever to say getting pregnant will treat her condition).  I think someone else is hearing the tick, tick tick.

Oh and because someone who reads the blog asked this... Yes, I am a converse girl :)

---------------------------------

Freak Out - Avril Lavigne

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pup8OenL-L4

Stolen Truth

Read this blog while listening to the music link at the bottom 

I believe in magic.

I was born and raised in a magic time, in a magic town, among magicians.

We grew up living in a web of magic, connected by the silver filaments of chance and circumstance, almost everyone else didn't realise, but I knew it all along.

You see, we all start out knowing magic, we were born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us.  We were born able to sing to birds and read clouds, and see our destiny in grains of sand.

As time goes on and we age, we get the magic educated right out of our souls, we get it taught out, spanked out, washed out, and toned out. We get put on a straight and narrow, and told to be responsible, told to act our age.

And why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’ve allowed to wither in themselves. After you go so far away from it, you can’t really get it back. You can have seconds of it, just seconds, of knowing and remembering.

When people get weepy at movies, it’s because in that dark theater, that golden pool of magic is touched, just briefly. Then they come out into the hard sun of logic and reason again, and it dries up, and they’re left feeling a little heart-sad, and not knowing why.

When a song stirs a memory, when nodes of dust turning in a ray of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a train passing on the track at night and you wonder where it might be going; you step beyond who you are and where you are and for the briefest of instance, you have stepped into the magic realm.  
This is what I believe.

---------------------------

Switchfood - Dare You To Move

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOTcr9wKC-o

Chasing Balloons

I don't get people who know what they want and don't do anything about it, especially the ones that are all talk and no action.

You know the people I'm talking about, bolshy, auditory, tell you what they would/could do but never actually get round to showing you that they are capable.  The guy or the girl who tells you about this really awesome thing they saw in a shop that they were going to get for you as you would love, love, LOVE it, and yet somehow turns up empty handed.  The person who bIgs up your birthday and how awesome they are going to make it and then fail to even show up.  The guy who says you take his breath away and then just turns and walks away.  Don't get me wrong, all the examples I have just giVen are somewhat materialistic and that isn't what I meant to do, but saying 'the dude who says he could run the office and yet doesn't apply for the job' somEhow isn't personal enough.

I'm an impulse girl, if I see something I want I don't over think it, I ether go for it or I don't, all this 'will I, won't I' stuff is just irritating.  Of course big decisions like moving house, changing career, deciding whether to have a baby or not falls INto a different and more complex category but the rest... it's child's play.

If you like a girl/guy, ask him/her out.  If it's valentines day and you like someone, send THEm a card.  If you hate your hair, cut it.  If you hate your job, look for a new one.  If you need a break, go away somewhere.  Alright, we might not all be able to jet off but life is what you make it and money or lack thereof is irrelevant.

I reMember hitting a slump with Mr X and so I tOok the £89 I had in my bank account and managed to pay for everything required for a 4 day trip away (inc petrol).  We juMped in the car and drove 2hrs to a sea-side town not that far away off-peak season, in a somEwhat broken down, faulty heating, but clean caravan, ate nothing but an on-toast selection, and as the highlight, headed to a craft shop where we splashed out £5 each to paiNt a cup and then 'dined out' on a bag of chips as we walked along the beach in the pouring rain.  It was exacTly what we needed. 

Similarly when in University I spent £15 and transformed the disabled bathroom in the halls into barbedos with the help of some B&Q sand, a little Bob Dylan on the CD player, some blown up (thankyou NHS) hospital gloves creatively made into octopus hanging from the shower curtain, a paddling pool filled with water from Argos and two carved out coconuts filled with the cheapest and most deadly alcohol the local supermarket had to offer.  It was my first 'holiday' with Clutz and still the most memorable, we had a great time.

Get off your asses people, stop complaining, stop thinking about what you don't have, what could have been or what might happen and start chasing balloons on impulse and jumping in puddles... Life is way too short!

---------------------------

Foo Fighters - Everlong

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP-qrd7DE1Q