Waiting for a Fairytale

Despite my best efforts I have spent most of this morning feeling a little lost. 

I can't get the thought out of my head that I'm 29 now and am no closer to spending the rest of my life with someone than I was on my 10th birthday.

Maybe I'm too demanding, I mean I got Flowers a few days ago from a guy who has been pretty open In letting me know that he thiNks he coulD see himself spending forever with me and he isn't the first.  There have been at least two other guys before hiM over the yEars that if I had wanted to, I'm sure I could still be with to this day. 

Am I doing it all wrong? I know you need to be attracted to someone too and as I dated all three then its obvious that at some point I was, but I mean is someone caring about you and wanting to be there for you supposed to be enough?  If it is I just don't seem to get it.

I think movies may have ruined me.  I'm not unrealistic I know when you are with someone you need to work through the bad times and enjoy the good but why can't I have that perfect romance?  Clutz and Mr X lit me up inside and I was completely consumed by my feelings for them and yet where are they today?  Clutz is married to someone else and had a baby boy not 6months ago and Mr X is at the other side of the world.

I feel like for as long as I can remember I've had to deal with the things this world has thrown at me alone.  Why is it so difficult for me to find someone who I want to be with who feels the same about me?

I know you are out there somewhere, my perfect match, how long will you keep me waiting?

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Rihanna - California King Bed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhBorPm6JjQ

Hold out your Hand

Everybody goes through hard times and sometimes you just need people to give you a helping hand to get back up.

There's a certain honour that can be seen in the girl who works hard every day doing the best she can and keeps chasing the dream that one day something better will come along, never giving up.  Or the man who pulls a twelve hour day and comes home shattered and yet still manages to find the energy to play with his children.

Life for most of us is an uphill battle, its a rarity to find everything you are looking for with ease and normality that people have to push themselves to get through the bad times in search of the good.

I sometimes think I was put here to be a helping hand, I remind myself of the girl in the film Sweet November and to those who know me well, I am sure I do also.  Its a great way to be and if my path in life is to help others find their way then its a path I am proud to be walking.  I just hope that somewhere along the road there is someone ready to pick me up.

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Ryan Adams - Come Pick Me Up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kM0mjukDGRw