Licking Wallpaper

Super quick blog today to let you know I haven't forgotten about you...

My shoulder has been a bit of the nightmare the last few days, yet despite this I can't take another second off work in the house under doctors and OH order, I started coming down off the copious amounts of medication for it on Friday which resulted in headaches and cold sweats; yesterday headed back.  One hour in I was praying for hometime, I clearly am in no position to be back, however not one to just sit back and relax I've decided to keep going for the remainder of this week and then see how I feel.  My boss on the other hand has called in reinforcements and I have to attend another OH meeting on Thursday morning.

A few things to tell you but literally slept for 11hrs last night and I am running late for my shift so I will blog tomorrow x

Operation Dostoyevsky

This coming weekend bloggers due to an idea thrown out by one of you is 'Operation Dostoevsky' where I shall take to a local funky cafe, book in hand and give anyone gorgeous that catches my eye a 'geek chic, come and get me' smile.

I'm not entirely sure this is an instant win plan, and feel I may have to become somewhat of a regular before there is any real chance of a bite, but on the flip side, I love coffee shops, I enjoy people watching and as for the reading part, I used to get through a book a week and have let things slide of late so it would definitely be a good excuse.  I do however have a tendency to get engrossed in the world of the book I am reading which is why I used to feed my habit last thing at night or while chilling out in the bathtub, but surely that will just add to the persona of 'foxy well read, daydreaming girl' I have in my mind.

Other news on the dating front...

OOJ has come back into play.  Due to the upcoming reunion our communication spiked in the last few weeks and I have to say, something inside me is saying 'why not give it a go' if he is this determined to take me out on a date.  I guess it might be a case of watch this space for an update.

El Dempasso (for those of you who don't know this name from my last blog:  guy I went on a few dates with before Mr X, liked him quite a bit but he went weird and I couldn't work out why, turned out he was a virgin and thought I may have been too much to handle and before we really had time to talk it out I met Mr X.  Since then he popped his cherry, became a lil bit of a player and has always stayed in touch upping the flirty antics whenever i'm single').  Anyway El Dempasso got in touch a few weeks ago, there was a time (as you know) that I had wondered if we should give another date a go after Mr X and I split up but it was short lived as we both wanted different things.  

Anyway, times have changed and El D has recently found himself in a relationship.  He has been really open about this and I have absolutely no doubt that he is a good boy and would never cheat on a gf, however he has most definitely opened the flood gates of flirt the last week or so. 


Don't worry bloggers, as I'm sure those of you who have been reading since my last blog (a year in the life of a 20-something year old) will know:  I would never entertain anything to do with a guy who has a gf.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't think the whole thing was a tad curious though.

Now back on to the important stuff, what is a sexy geek chic chick supposed to wear to entice gorgeous men at the coffee shop that does the whole 'wow she looks amazing but you can tell she made no effort' thing?

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Straylight Run - Mistakes we knew we were making

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR74bak541Y

School Reunion

I'm missing my school reunion tonight :(  I'd planned on going, I mean high school for me although I wasn't little miss popular, was an awesome time.  I got along with everyone, hung out with friends most evenings, got drunk and partied my ass off most weekends and made some amazing friends along the way.

I was really looking forward to catching up with a few people, you see every year on this weekend most people from my year head back 'home' and catch up as there is an event on and it makes for an easy excuse.  Because of this quite a few people have managed to stay in touch, especially among the boys, the single ones of which despite travelling all over the world with work now all seem to live within close proximity.  

I used to do the same until we had to move mum closer to family after dad died.  You see, I went to high school 4hrs away from where I live now, which is 7hrs away from one of my brothers and 9hrs away from the other so when mum had to move it made getting back pretty difficult.  Pretty much no-one stayed in the town we grew up in, although I think many of us are considering moving back when we have experienced all life has to offer so couch surfing isn't really an option.  Despite this I got the offer of several couches to make it back to the reunion but between a dodgy shoulder that keeps popping out (closest hospital that could deal with that back home is 16miles away) and a serious amount of pain relief meds that I can't actually go without, I had to go with the sensible approach and make my apologies.  I have however demanded that someone take a photocopy of my face and hold it up when they take the group reunion photo :P

Don't get me wrong, I mean compared to a lot of the other people going, my life is still in what you could call a transition period, I mean I could have had the job to brag about, the long-term partner/husband, and children or children on the way, but as several years ago I seemed to develop a bit of a 'life itch' I guess in comparison I look unsuccessful and a little lost.  I wasn't however worried about how this would come across, these people you have to remember are the ones that saw me when I was growing into my body, had braces and went through a phase of dying parts of my hair different colours every week.  They are my connection to some of the best days of my life and I am really sad that I won't get the opportunity to reminisce with them.

Its crazy isn't it... When you are in high school people tell you 'these are the best days of your lives, cherish them' and you can't comprehend it at all.  Between bad hair days, a body that somehow doesn't seem to fit and a whole heap of rules and 'must do's' it is impossible to grasp how fondly you will look back at them in years to come.  Don't get me wrong, I mean I know life wasn't like that for everyone, but for me, I've had great times since and I'm sure I have great times yet to come, but there will never be another moment in my life when I can absolutely live in the moment with no worries, no burdens and no-one to please but myself.

Yes bloggers, I loved high school and I hope everyone who is making it to the reunion has an epic blast from the past night.

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Class of 99 - Wear Sunscreen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwVVpwBKUp0

Lego-Tastic

I've been under the weather this last few days, hence the lack of blog.  I've been put on mega pain relief and and anti-inflammatory tablets for my shoulder and they have knocked me for six.  Several days of vomiting followed by a couple of days of dribbling down my own face followed by debilitating stomach cramps and explosive diarrhoea followed by nausea and extreme tiredness... Who knows what delights await me tomorrow.

I'm bored stiff and am seriously stressed about the disaster that awaits me when I get back to work.  The only thing that has kept me remotely entertained is my Xbox and a genre of lego based games.  I got my Xbox a year or so ago now solely for entertainment purposes for parties, when friends come over and when my nephews visit, other than that I think I've only played once... until now.  I have to say I am addicted to the lego games, they are soooooooooo good and I can't die which is a definite benefit.

Dating

When I'm feeling better you will be pleased to know that I have decided to join a 'supper club' to kick start my dating life again.  Apparently supper clubs are the latest thing in dating so I will jump on the supper club train and report back to you.  All in the name of blogging of course ;P

When Is It Time

I spoke briefly to Mr X online yesterday, he has started dating someone again which he seems to be as excited about as a person licking stamps.  It made me take a long hard look at myself as he seems to be doing the same as I was with OOJ to a certain extent.

I mean we both have differing reasons for it being a bad/difficult decision but I definitely saw familiarity in the situation:  I find it hard to trust guys after all the crap that came to light when we split up and won't settle for anything less than what I can only think to call 'movie love' to boot.  He is in a whilrpool of numbness and has some serious issues which prevent him from really connecting and has established a habit of lying on a daily basis (small white lies the majority of the time), and no, before you wonder, I'm not talking about to me, as I'm in touch with his sister I know he lies to her quite a lot (he is living with her atm) as he tells me what he is actually doing and tells her he is working.

Its a weird one.  I mean I don't hurt any more when I hear he is dating someone but it does makes me look at my own life and the fact I don't seem to be moving on.  I mean, how much longer am I going to let what happened between us prevent me from going forward?

So what are the facts? 

• I know I don't want to speed date.
• I am dubious online dating as there seems to be a lack of hot men and there is something in the back of my mind that makes me think someone who dates online may keep their online options open when with you (cynical I know).
• I would be up for blind dating through friends but unfortunately I don't really have any friends with attractive and eligible single mates.
• I hate the whole 'out on the pull' to bars/clubs thing.  I mean I don't really like clubbing and going out on the prowl isn't really my thing.
• I'm not looking for someone who wants to jump straight into a relationship but I don't want to meet anyone who is only looking for a one night stand.
• I wouldn't rule out going down the 'friends with benefits' route again as I am seriously missing sex but I don't want that to add to the list of things stopping me from moving on.

WOW, now that is some list!!  The question is, where do I go from here?  On one hand I think going on a few dates, taking baby steps and opening myself up to meeting someone new would be a really nice thing, but on the other, I have a huuuuuuge list of things I can't/won't do.  Hmmmm.

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Spin Doctors - Two Princes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsdy_rct6uo

Wonderland

I've had to call into work sick the last couple of days, my shoulder has been a sodding nightmare.  It is so so sore all the time, I've a brace that works when it is on but when off my entire arm swells up and until yesterday I was no further forward in getting it fixed.

I've finally managed to get a referral to a specialist as the doctor now seems to agree with me that physiotherapy may not be working like it should be and so surgery may be a better option.  In the mean time I am on some serious pain medication.  max strength, max dosage co-codamol and a whack of diclofenac to top it off.  I feel like a floaty sponge that feels travel sick and has a seriously unhappy tummy.  I'm going to take the max as advised for another few days and then cut back down on the co-codamol as I don't like to take too much in the form of pain relief, by that time the side effects of the diclofenac should have settled and I am hoping I will stop feeling sick.

I don't think my boss is too happy.  I mean my shoulder is perfectly capable of doing my job but me doing the 101 tasks to get to work isn't really working any the fact I feel I'm sitting on my couch and dribbling most of the day also isn't conducive to work.  Oh dear.

So while I am in a semi comatose state and am going slightly insane at the same time with boredom as I can't really function to do anything but watch tv (and my god daytime tv sucks), feel free to msg me or comment me some movie suggestions.  I also like a good 'people based' documentary... suggestions seriously welcome :)

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I definately feel like today's tune...
Smoke City - Underwater Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUz3fLncTTs

Where are their parents?

London's Burning

Croydon 11hrs ago

I never set out for this to be a statement blog where I discuss current events but what is happening in the UK at the moment can't really be avoided.

Looting, the streets of our cities on fire, the police being made to look useless, people losing their homes and their livelihoods and the culprets... 90% pre pubescent teenagers.  The world has gone seriously wrong.

I'm not for beating children but I can't help but think a few sharp swift kicks up the backside might have prevented this from happening.  Who are the parents?  I'm thinking alcoholics, uneducated drug abusers??  

If I found out my child was in the street causing havoc they would be grounded and I would be seeking out manual labour to keep them occupied.

If I was the government I would reassess and then make the move to cancel the school summer holidays UK wide.  I know this would cost a lot and would to a certain extent punish those kids not involved but surely a massive statement needs to be made.  We are on day 3 now, the riots have spread to Merseyside, Birmingham and Liverpool and we are £9M in damages to date.  

Bring back National service I say.  No more scroungers, let the benefits go to those who need them and the sodding layabouts creaming money from the rest of Britain get sent out to do a decent days work. 

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Edwin Starr - War
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgs3BOP0Lus

Domestic Abuse

I was reading the Times this morning (yes, the Times) and I was completely shocked at the statistics attached to something I read so felt the need to share.

The piece was about increasing domestic violence towards men in the UK and told the harrowing story of a 40something year old man who had been abused by his girlfriend for several years before a police officer attending a noise complaint uncovered the truth.  She left the guy needing re-constructive face surgery and a skin graft among other things which is incredible!

Anyway the article was summarised with a list of facts including a statistic stating that 1 in 6 men would experience domestic violence in their lifetime and 1 in 4 women.  What an awful reality if those figures are right.  I would have imagined those figures to be high if we were including verbal abuse, but to know that the numbers relate to physical contact only is mind boggling.  

I guess domestic abuse and violence is one of those things that people always say 'the first time would be the only time, I'd be outta there' but in reality, like many situations, you never know how you would react until you are living in that moment. (others that spring to mind are:  child standing in road with car approaching, unplanned pregnancy, cheating)

As a girl who hasn't settled down and is still very much in the dating world it scares me to think 1 in 4 of the guys I may date fall into the 'will raise his hand to you' category.  I mean, I like to think I'm a good judge of character; I generally tend to date guys who my friends and family approve of, are gentle in nature, have good family relationships, and I tend to respect even after we break up.  I also don't date drug or alcohol abusers so I assume I am in a minimal risk bracket but still... I hope I am never in a situation where I need to find out how I would react.

Failing that, I am sure my 'just in case someone tries to break into my flat' baseball bat will come in handy.

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Eminem Ft. Dido - Stan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSLZFdqwh7E&ob=av3e

Childish Behaviour

Every now and then I get the urge to be completely dumb.  It's like the childish and mischievous side of me takes over and I do something on impulse and then spend the next 48-hrs. stressing out.

Tonight I came home from a really long and stressful day at work, I was cleaning the cat litter and had the bag on the window ledge so I could clean the box before taking it down to the trash and before I knew it I had leant out the back close to make sure no-one was there and then I shoved the bag out!!  I mean no-one was under and the bins for the close are directly below my window it but what was I thinking??  I'm 172 steps up and all I had to do was walk down.

Now I'm sat in my flat waiting for some neighbour to come and kill me!  I'm going to have to go down first thing in the morning when it is light and clean it up.

And why did I do it?  I swear I have no idea!! Its like every now and then I have to do something insane and childish just to prove I can.

Oh dear... 

Princes of Main, Kings of New England

What is my business?  

I think this changes on a yearly, monthly and maybe daily basis.  I wonder how it feels to be one of those lucky people who know what they want to do, are clear about their aspirations and chase their dreams without any inkling of a doubt.

Over the last week I have set up my own business with someone I know.  We have a website being built by a professional who does large corporate websites and it will be ready in a week, we have a registered name, email addresses and stationary on order.  We have our first large event planned for February of next year and have negotiated a venue.  We have several short stop events between now and then to raise the funds we need to make something for over 250 people a success.  We have jumped in at the deep end and will either sink or swim. 

One thing is for sure.  

I won't stop swimming.

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Quietdrive - Time after Time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWy0DhVgZn0