T-8

Not long till 2012... And in true Ser3ndipity style, we will bring it in with a straight talking blog :)


Have a great one! x

Watch This Space

I'll be back tomorrow x

Face down in a world of tired

I can't remember ever feeling this tired.  The last few weeks have been nothing short of full-on and I swear I could sleep for a month solid.

One of my cats had to go to the vet with an emergency on Tuesday so despite today being my first day of annual leave and my train ticket to  visit family for Christmas dated tomorrow afternoon, at this moment in time I'm not sure I'm going to make it.  He seems to be feeling better in himself but has to have a lot of eye care and has a follow-up vet appointment on Xmas eve.  When I go away G-Star always comes to stay at my flat and looks the kitty cats, but I think asking him to take one of them to the vet and to also try and get eye drops into a wiggle monster twice a day is probably a bit much to ask.  I will find out tonight when he comes round to pick up keys.

With the flooding the flat has had, the days without elec and the fact I haven't been in to get anything done, today is 'cleaning day'.  I've a heap of laundry to do (first load in now), a bowl of washing up, my bedroom to tidy (there are clothes everywhere), the bathroom to give a once over, and the whole flat to hoover and mop.  G-Star is set to come between 6-7pm tonight so the aim is to have everything done by then so I can bribe him with a Domino's pizza and start getting my Christmas head on.

Dear Santa,

This Year I'd love it if you could help me out with:

• A holiday somewhere sunny
• A gorgeous, smart, honest, funny, successful man
• A weight loss miracle
• The perfect job

Bit of an adventurous list, I'm not sure I'll be very lucky.  Especially as I'm not sure I made the nice list

Radio Ser3ndipity

Hi all, this last few weeks have been hectic hence the lack of blog.  I will however be back and ready to blog frequently again from Friday so you lucky bloggers will have me to keep you entertained over the holidays :)

I've also decided to up the anti and run a once a month 1hr radio station for music, chat and maybe even to open up the forum for a few questions.

I'm in the process of setting up the site now but we will be good to go by Xmas.

In the mean time here is a super fast update:

WORK/UNI

To say I am lacking in enjoyment for my job at the moment is an understatement.  Luckily come New Year I can start looking for a new one as things with Uni have gone slightly awry.

LOVE LIFE

I took myself off online dating around 6-8 weeks ago now purely because it doesn't seem to be the forum to find my 'type' so on to the next thing.

I am crushing a little on someone at the moment, I will tell you more when I blog later this week but it is a bit of a non-starter.

Mr X tried to get in touch in a super crappy, really annoying way so I ignored him.  OOJ tried to make me jealous in some kind of asswipe last ditch attempt to somehow make me commit to being his long-term gf.  I was not amused.

FLAT

I've had 2 floods in the last little while with the winds and freak storms which due to the location of both left me without electricity for 7 days in total which was a total nightmare.  I'm going to leave this city/flat at the end of February (well that's the current plan, I'm going to think about it over Xmas).

CHRISTMAS

I'm taking 4days out this year to do the family thing and spend the holidays between my mum and one of my brothers.  My other brother is invited but he doesn't seem to be putting in any effort to make it at this stage.  (I should really tell you about my brothers).

Zombie

Shattered doesn't quite cut it, this last week I've been rammed with work/deadlines and this coming week isn't much better.  *sigh

I think prince charming got lost on his way!

I feel like the walking dead.  I've two options moving forward, I can either caffine overload or take a leaf out of Elizabeth Bathory's books and start bathing in the blood of dead virgins... I think I might stick to option 1 lol

If You Can't Beat Them...

If officially feels like the creep up of Christmas and with it brings the end of 2011.


So to get us in the festive spirit I thought I would give you my top 5 Christmas lists:


Movies

1. The Holiday - A fantastic cast and a character I can relate to in Iris
2. Elf - It doesn't matter how many times I see this, it still makes me giggle
3. Miracle on 34th Street - A heart warming feel-good Christmas movie
4. Home Alone 2 - My favourite of the franchise purely because of the bird lady
5. The Muppet Christmas Carol - Who doesn't love the muppets

Songs

1. Do They know Its Christmas - Band Aid/Band Aid 20
2. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
3. All I want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey
4. In the bleak midwinter - Unknown
5. Sleigh Ride - Unknown

Things to see/do

1. Play old school boardgames with friends/family
2. Wrap presents
3. Build a snowman / have a snowball fight
4. Watch the city as it becomes adorned in fairy lights
5. Soak up the Christmas spirit when everyone becomes that little bit nicer

The Little Matchstick Girl

I am frozen.  


I have the heating in my flat on full (which is usually great) and for some reason there is still a chill.  I am someone who gets cold hands, feet and nose quite easily but all of me is icy this evening.


I caught a chill on my way to and from work and can't seem to shake it.  I'm going to have to make a hot water bottle in a minute just for sitting on the couch.   I hope people without a home manage to find somewhere warm to sleep tonight as  I think this is as cold as it has been in a few years.  I know we aren't looking at minus temperatures but sometimes the icy wind makes it feel colder than a simple -3/4.  I'm frozen and it just started snowing again.

I've a super busy week ahead, and not one of nice things.  I suspect that I will be ready to drop come the weekend.  I already have 197 emails from last week I haven't quite managed to get through so I'm going to have to powerhouse to get back on track this week.  I can't wait till I finish Uni and I've only got one set of deadlines to manage.


On the plus side I popped into tesco on my way home and was drawn to the dessert section so I'm about to grab myself a chilling tarte au citron from the fridge :)

Sleepless In Seattle

I <3 Tom Hanks.

I <3 him in almost every movie I have seen him in.

He is handsome, polite, funny and has that super kissable lip/chin thing going on.

I need to find me a Tom Hanks.

The only question I have on my mind at the moment is if I can order takeaway food and collect it from the door in my PJs with crazy ass clean but un-straightened hair (think birds nest), and no makeup??

If you haven't guessed, I'm having a bit of a Bridget Jones evening.  The singing comes next... :p

Stating The Obvious

I know it is well known that what you want isn't necessarily what you need but lately something about this resonates with me.

I know what I want, or at least I think I do... Well I'm closer to knowing than I have been in the past at least.  What I need on the other hand, that seems to be something I can't get quite right.  Without stating the obvious like food, water, oxygen;  I think people rarely know what they truly need.  

Life is so complicated.  From the day we are born until the day we die we are told what to do, how to act, how not to act, what is acceptable, what isn't... we are controlled, conformed and institutionalised.  I don't know what I really think about it to be honest, I just can't help wondering if somehow, somewhere we got it all a little wrong.  

Are we too busy working towards the 'bigger picture' and striving for an ideal that we forget to live in the here and now?

Does life really have to be so complicated?

Would I want it to be simpler?

I can't help thinking that 30 is looming round the corner and I am nowhere near where I wanted to be or saw myself being at that age.  I also can't help but think that for the last 5years I have been working my ass off, chasing an ideal, stressing, worrying, straight out grinding myself down and for what?  

The last 5years have passed me by so fast.  I've been dragged down by the complexities of chasing something just out of reach and I'm not even sure what I'm looking for even exists.  


The real question is... where now?

---------------------------

Your Disguise - James Greenspun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLblIH3bk-0

SU-FI

Head on no messin' conversations had, the facts collated and then a frank conversation with my boss left me leaving work tonight under no uncertain terms the victor of the work challenge.

No doubt I will need to watch my back moving forward but life is so much simpler when you have someones card already marked.  You have to up the anti if you want to try and lead this lil froggy up the garden path and Austin it seems, was found lacking.  SU-FI Dumbass!


Needless to say I feel much happier about the work situation today and tomorrow I have scheduled a meeting with the manager for my operational area to iron out a couple of details moving forward and to ensure she is also left sound in the knowledge that I won't stand for any crap her either.

Yes.  All in all a pretty productive day.

Game On

It became apparent today at work that one of the other managers working in my  operational area has decided to climb his way to the top by trying to make a fool out of me in order to make himself look better.

Normally this would wash right over me, however as stupid as this guy is, thus far he has shown enough cunning to gain some buy-in.  I'm not going to lie, I was irked at work today when I realised the situation that had the potential to unfold before my eyes and I didn't really deal with it in the best way, however I didn't do anything drastic either.

It is hard enough in this world to get along without other people trying to drag you down in order to make themselves look better.  I've never done it, I hope I never will and the last person that tried to do that to me well... Long story short - I worked my ass off, got promoted ahead of him and then fired his ass.  Ruthless?  Yes.  Uncalled for?  Perhaps.  Completely and utterly satisfying?  Of course!  And I haven't lost a moments sleep over it since.

Tomorrow I will reassess the situation with a fresh pair of eyes to make sure I haven't missed anything.  I will ask the right questions, direct questions from the right people and I will make sure my facts are straight before making a move.  I have two days as the guy (we shall call him Austin - he has extremely bad teeth and only in the last six months has he started to brush his teeth.  Before you would have to hold your breath as he spoke as it smelt so bad) isn't back in work until Wednesday.

Needless to say, if it does turn out that this urchin is trying to make a fool of me, I will be dealing with it head on.  I might not be an aggressive person, but this whole 'sticks and stones' so ignore it mentality is utter bullshit.  

Game on you utter prick.  Game on!

Tick, Check, Next!

Don't you just love it when you have had a burst of organisation and have somehow managed to tick a heap of things off your 'to do' list.  Today I am having one of those days.

Tonight at work my entire schedule is planned and accounted for.  I have two training sessions to deliver (which are prepped), two coaching sessions and two meetings before heading home for a few days off (I had a heap of AL to use up before Christmas so this week has been a three day week - hurrah).

If only I had a bulging bank account to satisfy my needs to be on the go all the time and to get some awesome Christmas gifts sorted, that would be the cherry on the cake today.

The only plan I have for my time off so far is to make a rainbow cake as I've been set a challenge to do one by a couple of people I know that are mad on baking... It could be interesting as while I am a decent cook I'm not so much a dessert or baking guru, hence most dinner parties end at my flat in mini duo's.

The sun is shining, I have a heap to do today but I'm pretty organised.  Today is my Friday, tonight I plan on watching a heap of trashy movies while eating toast (I've had suuuuuuuuuuch a craving for toast the last few days but as bread is sooooo bad for you I never have it in the house) and drinking huuuge cups of tea :)

Yes, all in all while it isn't perfect, today life is good.  Lets hope nothing bursts my bubble.

---------------------------

Olly Murs - Dance With Me Tonight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3EG4olrFjY

I kissed him goodbye and I have never let him go

There are so many things I miss about my dad and so many things I remember about him but the one intense memory I have is of me holding his hand and exactly how it looked.

Not long before he died when he was in hospital (I'm not sure if it was that time or had been the few years before when he was unwell), but I visited and I remember holding his right hand as I sat beside his bed.  I remember somehow jumping out of my body and saying to myself 'remember this moment, look really hard at the details and never forget it because someday he won't be here and you will need it when times are hard'.  

I remember the curve of his thumb, the softness and colouring of his skin and the kindness and warmth that somehow softly emitted him and wrapped me in love and safety.  Not his face, not his voice, not his eyes, but his hand.  His hand in mine.  There.  Laying on top of the starched cotton sheet and worn hospital blanket.

I still don't know to this day what made me step back and take it all in, that moment so I could lock it deep inside my memory, but it is the only image I remember well.

When I look at photos of dad they somehow don't resonate with me.  I don't remember him how he looks in photos.  He looks short and old and somehow pointy.  In my head however he was soft, and caring and while I know he wasn't tall there was something all encompassing about him that is taken away in photos.  He was a man who radiated warmth and caring.  When we had nothing, he would still find something to give away to someone who needed it.  And without a word he was my rock.

You always wonder what legacy you will gain from your parents...  I stole my dads emotions.  He loved wholly and deeply and when things hurt him, they did so in the same way and while you could tell if you looked into his eyes in the brief second his heart winced, he was never bitter or judgemental.  He just somehow seemed to soak up the badness and show more love and compassion than before.

I'm not as strong or as selfless as my father.  I can't somehow trust my emotions in the way he did.  I see him in me when I am in quiet moments  contemplating life and aren't wrapping myself up in the here and now. I see glimpses of how similar we could be.  I see his hand holding mine and teaching me every lesson I ever need to know in life with nothing but a touch.

Before he died I lied to him, a huge lie, one I can never take back and I know caused him pain.  I saw that look in his eyes before he wrapped me in a hug that evening in our kitchen and let me soak his shoulder in my tears.  I brought sadness into the last few days of his life.  I also brought laughter and I brought love.  I held his hand, and when he was gone I held his hand again, cold and pale.  I kissed him goodbye and I have never let him go.

He gave me my emotions and he showed me how to care; how to love.

I miss him.

------------------

Iron & Wine - Flightless Bird American Mouth (Wedding)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7qEwT5L_zY&feature=related

Asshole

OMG I'm sooooo angry!

I think I've mentioned this before but I stay in touch with Mr X sister, we never talk about Mr X in any way shape or form and I never ask how he is doing.  Its not something we overtly avoid (for example she may mention they went to the mall together that day etc.) but it is never brought up as a subject for discussion and I think that is why we are able to stay friends as the two things have always been completely seperate.

Anyway last night when we were talking she mentioned something which she doesn't normally do about Mr X and I let her know we still weren't talking.  That was it, no conversation and no details. 

Today she is at the cinema to see Breaking Dawn (with Mr X as her hubby won't go with her) and as we both love all things twilight she text me a photo of her tickets from the cinema.  We had a bit of banter via text and then out of the blue 10mins later she text me 'Mr X says hello'.  I mean WTF!

The guy is a total ass, then completely ignores me and drops off the planet never asking how I am or what is going on, acting as if I never existed and then all of a sudden he asks his sister to say hi to me?!?!  What a fucking asshole!  

To try and make you understand how irritated that has made me feel... Imagine going to a restaurant, having the perfect evening, great food, great drink superb service etc.  and then when it comes to paying the bill deciding to leave a 20p tip.  Its 1000% worse than no tip at all.

Needless to say I thanked her for trying to be sweet but told her not to reciprocate and if he asked why to tell him to stick his hello in no uncertain terms up his ass.  Fucking moron!  I hope he chokes on his popcorn!

-----------------------------

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RAQXg0IdfI

Winter Nights

Fun times have not been had by all this last little while bloggers.  My shoulder is nothing short of a royal pain in the ass, I haven't had a decent night sleep in ages and I have a cold.  All in all it is safe to say November thus far hasn't set my world on fire and has been a month of quiet contemplation.

Anyway sucking it in today I plan on having some serious Ser3ndipity time, a bath, some daytime reading, munching on stodgy feel-good food, hiding on the couch under blankets and this evening watching eclipse with a couple of glasses of vino as Red and I are heading to the cinema tomorrow afternoon to see breaking dawn. 

I love twilight.  Despite being around 10yrs too old for it, I am a complete fan.  Don't get me wrong I have always liked vampire based things since Ann Rice glamorised things with her world of indulgence and fantasy but twilight is the first thing since interview with a vampire that has managed to truly pique my interest.  The films however cheesy manage to engross me and if I could delve into a world of fantasy I'd be hard pushed to think of one I'd rather enter than that of the Cullens and the Quilettes.  Yes, true escapism and just what I need at the moment.

Christmas is just around the corner now and it looks like I shall be enjoying the festivities sucking up singledom once again.  I don't mind the single part to be honest but there is something magical about dark nights creeping in and people somehow being nicer to each other as Christmas looms that makes me yearn to walk the city streets hand in hand with a gorgeous man.

2011 so far hasn't exactly gone to plan so over the next few weeks I intend on finishing the year with a bang.  Getting out and about as much as possible, meeting new people, doing new things and laughing and having as much fun as I can cram in.  

Its time to revamp the girl behind the red door.


----------------------------------
Answering Bell - Ryan Adams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grkn6x6VWms&ob=av2e

Pebble In My Hand

I read this somewhere and its perfect...

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...

I think I'm one of these people that is destined to fall for someone rarely, and when I do I fall so utterly and completely in love with them everything else stands still.  When it all ends I fall apart and then coast. I walk, talk and as the clock keeps ticking I get on with life, never without a smile on my face or a plan for the future.  

Inside I'm standing still.   

--------------------------

A Drop In The Ocean - Ron Pope

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVsrP9OJ6PA

What Was I Thinking

If ever in life you find yourself doubting your gut instinct and tempted to rethink or retract your actions bloggers all I can say is give yourself a shake and snap out of it.

This last week amid shoulder-ness I made a choice to rethink a previous decision and in a rapid chain of events it became exceptionally clear that you should never... NEVER in life rethink or second guess your gut instinct bloggers. Never!!
I shall be back in the life of regular blogging at the end of this week.

Circles and Spheres

Its strange how life has a tendency to repeat itself, situations will always arise that mirror those before, people will enter your life that remind you of someone from the past, and if you are luck you will be smart enough to avoid making the same mistakes over and over... If you are smart.

Mum is still here helping me with things as my shoulder is still a complete disaster, my appointment with the surgeon/specialist on Monday could not come fast enough.  I am still off work but am working and picking up 3/4hrs of work a day from home (that's all I can do with my limited access) and my boss is coming out to see me on Tuesday - I can't wait to get back to the grind again.  Uni has taken a bit of a back burner but I am sure I will be able to get back on track, I work better under stress.

Other than that news is pretty limited as I haven't been out and about.  Red and Wonka were both hoping to catch up with me this weekend but it will definitely be next week before we can.  I'm looking forward to it though.

Look-A-Like

A couple of people I know have said I really look like a particular celebrity, I soooooo can't see it myself and think it may be in relation to the types of character the person plays, never the less I thought you might be interested to know so here she is... Sara Rue.

Mum here at the moment as I am completely out of order till I see the specialist about my shoulder on Monday this coming week, hence the lack of blogging.  I'll be back soon though.

OUUUCHHHH!

I'm not really on blogging form at the moment troops... pain that makes you want to cry will do that to you.  

Today all I can think is 'would calling a mobile massage service help or hinder the situation'. Ouch!

Any tips are greatly welcome

Quasimodo

I've somehow managed to trap a nerve or upset a muscle running from my neck down my back with this whole shoulder thing.  I woke up yesterday unable to move my head at all and today I'm not much better.  I swear I think if this persists I'm going to start looking like the hunchback of Notre Dame.  The silver lining is that my appointment with a surgical consultant is next week so I am hoping he will order the working of some magic to make me a happy and fully functioning Ser3ndipity again.

Today however I am stuck in the house as the movement to get out of my pajamas might as well be as difficult as someone asking me to do 100 push-ups only using the power of my little finger.  This is where you come in my lil blogger friends... PM or comment me some movie suggestions as I can't think of any I haven't already seen that are recent and I'm useless when it comes to thinking of decent movies a few years old.  Someone gave me one to watch last week with Samuel L Jackson that I'd never heard of called Unthinkable (not unbreakable), it was really obscure and I've no Idea how it had previously slipped under the radar.  In return I shall give you a couple of little gems:

• Exam
• I Am Sam
• Sweet November
• Million Dollar Baby

There should be something there for everyone :)  Your turn!

Deflated

Today has been hard going. 

I didn't get much sleep due to my shoulder being seriously gnarly and it has worsened as the day has gone on.  My boss despite not being in work has insisted on emailing me to double check work on a certain item several times during my shift which pretty much doubled my workload unnecessarily.  I'm tired, it is cold and all in all I feel deflated.

To cheer myself up I went for a Burger King after work with a friend but alas, the junk food buzz didn't even help.

I'm now sat on the couch under a blanket and I think a weepie movie while mooching before hitting the hay for an early night may just be what the doctor ordered.  Well that and a serious intake of pain killers as my shoulder is soooooo knotted I think I'd need a fortnight of intensive massage to sort myself out.

The Wolves

I can feel the wolves circling in more ways than one today.  

Last night's dinner party was a success, everything I cooked went exactly to plan, all plates were left clear, all glasses were kept topped up, the conversation flowed and everyone left smiling and will the full tummy.  I don't think you could ask for much more.

I'm heading up to Red's this evening for cocktails and a catchup and in the next hour I'm heading to a local(ish) bar to catchup with a guy I know from high-school and some of his friends before heading to an exhibit.  He is what you would refer to as a seriously dedicated rock/metal lover so I am sure it will be an interesting bunch, there may be a couple of others I know from high-school there also that he kept in touch with but that were always a bit meek for the younger version of me to spend too much time talking to.  Saying that it would be good to see a couple of them and find out how they are doing these days.

Something I'm not going to blog about at the moment unexpectedly made me shed a little tear this morning so I could definately do with an afternoon of soaking up good vibes, laughter and all those other 'feel good' things associated with hanging out with a good group of friends.  I need my wolf pack.

Here's wishing you guys are all over the weekend :)

-----------------------------

Radiohead - Just (you do it to yourself)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDYtMt5IJpg

Bored-dot-Com

I need to shake things up a little.  

I'm doing heaps at the moment but am a little bit bored with it all. I think in reality it all boils down to the fact I didn't go on holiday this year *sigh.  Anyway this weekend despite the necessity for it to be a cheap one is filled with entertainment so that should perk me up:

Friday

I'm going to dip-dye my hair.  I've decided I'm bored with the current 'brunette' look having had the pink/red disaster a few weeks ago, so I'm going to join the dip-dye movement.  I just can't decide if I want to go red/purple or blue/purple hmmm.

In the evening a few people coming over for dinner and drinks (Wonka, Six, Waves, Pooch) which should help a little.  Six is only just back from a stint back home in the states and Waves and Pooch have just come back from two weeks in Vegas so there should be lots to talk about.

Saturday

I'm meeting someone I went to high-school with and a bunch of other people for a couple of drinks in the afternoon and then we are heading to a band exhibit.  In the evening I'm heading over to Red's for cocktails and a catchup.

Sunday

I'm catching up with a couple of people in the morning and then I am back to work in the afternoon.  Sunday evening I'm going to meet Wonka for coffee as she has a second date this weekend so it will be the great debrief lol

Is it just me, or does my weekend sound full but at the same time pretty dull?  Yes, I think come payday I need to shake things up a LOT

---------------------
Buckcherry - Crazy Bit*h
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ6pLKlU-8Q

Weapons of Mass Destruction

On my way home from work last night some guy tried to grab my bag.  I work too hard for my money to let some chump to just snatch it so he got what was coming to him... a mouthful of abuse and a slap across the face with my shopping... a 1kg bag of carrots.  Needless to say he re-assessed the situation and went on his way.

This is now the second time I've had an incident in this city and the second time I've refused to give up the goods.  Don't get me wrong, ask me in the cold light of day what my reaction would be and I'd probably say 'give them what they want, life is too short' but in the moment I always, without a doubt stick it to them and leave with all of my belongings.  I think I might be a closet Rambo lol.

I've a few scratches on my arm today from the incident but nothing that won't disappear in a few days.  I may get a lift home from work this next week though as I feel it was perhaps opportunistic people taking advantage of the fact no-one is out in the wet/cold/dark during the evening.

Anyway on a lighter note I thought I would give you my top ten unusual weapons of mass destruction:

After last night this has to be number 1.  A bag of unassuming carrots, heavy, easy to swing at faces and in a stylish orange these are a must have for any street-savvy 20-something year old woman.

At number 2 we have an upturned plug.  I think it is safe to say that standing on one of these bad boys is one of the most painful experiences a girl/guy can have.

Winging its way into number 3 we have deep heat spray.  As pepper spray is illegal in the UK (and we wouldn't want to break the law) this cunning alternative will not only blind an assailant but comes in handy for any aches/pains incurred in a struggle.

At number 4 we have a cat.  Should someone ever try to break into my house, without a doubt one of my first choices of weapon would be to throw one of my cats at his/her face.  'Clawarific'

The 5th and final weapon is the classic whistle.  Inspired by actions taken by my mum growing up, this bad-boy ensures crank callers only ever call once.  No home is complete without this landline safety device.

------------------------------

Eminem - Not Afraid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5-yKhDd64s

Single Persons Plateau?

Awesome however does not mean 'damn I wish I was dating her'.  I'm beginning to wonder if I am the female equivalent of those guys who always end up as the 'friend'.

Don't get me wrong bloggers, I don't have any male friends that I would rather be more to and as you and I both know I am one fussy chick when it comes to the types of guys I am attracted to and want to get to know but still... The thought is starting to cross my mind.  I know so many guys, many attached, some single who I overhear calling me 'great', 'awesome', 'cute' etc. but where are the hot single guys that should be banging down my door?

156 men on the dating site apparently want to 'meet me' and maybe 60-70 of those have emailed me but sheesh I'm not attracted to hmmm 153 of them, that leaves me with 3.  

Number 1 is Fizzy and we all know how that ended.  Number 2 was date number 2... this weekend (I lemon lawed him - 6ft 2 with a funky hairstyle I think not!  He was 5ft 10 at a push and had short and balding hairline).  This then leaves me with number 3, the one and only guy (date #1) who I am actually pretty keen on as he seems to fit that 'funky' bubble I hunt for, but alas for some reason despite texting, taking my facebook and staying in touch a heap he pretty much failed to ask me to meet and there is only so long before you have to realise you are hitting a stale mate.  In hind sight Red has suggested to me he may not have been as single as he intimated... I'm not sure.  Either way, I've deleted his number.

The thing is, I'm a happy single person.  I had some baggage to deal with and file away courtesy of Mr X, but all in all, being single works for me.  I don't mind if I'm single for another 2 years, but to not be able to find someone I even like, whether they are unavailable or uninterested... That's concerning. 

Surely I'm too young to have hit the 'anyone single is single for a reason' plateau?

-------------------------

Read All About It - Professor Green Ft. Emelie Sand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_oLfC5Z_Ys&ob=av2e

Someday Never

'To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment'

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

---------------------------------------

Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfRNRymrv9k&ob=av2n

Dead In the Water

That's what happened to Wednesdays fish... OMG what a terrible date!

Within hmmm oh I don't know... 3mins, I was 60% confident he wasn't the guy I had pegged him for, by 5mins I was 80% and within 10mins I was positively certain.  

Fizzy bloggers is one of those somewhat arrogant, big myself up despite it being blatenly clear I have no substance kind of people.  Don't get me wrong its not about the money you make or the job you do but more the way you look at the world and treat the people around you.  Fizzy it seems rather liked to belittle and compare his 'greatness' to those around him.  I was looking for an exit strategy within minutes.

Unfortunately, despite his ego Fizzy had either stumbled into one of the greatest lines on earth or was a smarter cookie than I gave him credit for as the next words that left his lips and entered my bored and bleeding ears were 'so what do you do to get out of a terrible first date'.  

I was screwed bloggers!  It was almost like he was calling it so I had nowhere to run.  This was an eventuality I hadn't prepared for.  Don't get me wrong the convenient 'emergency' situation is about as obvious as a black man at a KKK meeting, but to pose this question left me high and dry and completely unable to use any get-out-clause.  Bastard!

I endured 2 hours of trivial, mind numbing chat before I made my excuses and ran as fast as my little legs could take me in the other direction.

Plenty more fish in the sea I hear you say... I think I prefer my fish with chips.

--------------------

Iggy Pop - I'm Bored

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5ySL62dLxk

Date Day

I'm meeting Fizzy in a couple of hours for a first date and I'm not going to lie bloggers, I'm pretty nervous.

I have woken up with several blotches on my face (I used to think I was lucky having perfect skin when I was younger as everyone else was struggling with ache, but no... It just meant things were biding their time to bite me in the ass when I grew up) which will be difficult to cover up.  I am having what we girls refer to as 'a fat day' and I am shattered having had a rubbish nights sleep as my shoulder was playing up.

Yes.  It is safe to say that all things taken into consideration the only saviour for the date would be alcohol, alas... It is a lunchtime date as it is his day off and I will be going to work straight after.  Ohhh the glamour!

Work is also set to be an interesting one... I'm handling a grievance case at the moment and unfortunately I am representing the person who you would refer to as the 'guilty party'.  We have been to the initial meetings and this week I expect to find which elements will be upheld (I would say 'if any' but from the initial briefing I'm not convinced this is going to be the case).  Anyway the guy in question has been like a limpet since I took on the case, always at my desk, calling and texting all the time, wanting information I am not in a position to give etc. and I am probably about one email away from cracking.  It is safe to say if he appears at my desk again today I will be in no uncertain terms 'laying it out straight'.

Ironically I'm excellent at my job in this area and the only outcome of this nonsense will be me dropping my assistance telling him he is on his own which I'm not far from.  Don't get me wrong I completely understand that it is a difficult situation to be in but I have set realistic outcome dates and so far 40% advice I have given him has been ignored to his detriment.  Yes, one more thing and he will be on his own and collecting his P45 before the month is out.

Thinking about it... Probably a good thing the date today won't involve wine as this last week I've been feeling like a bunny.

----------------------------
Get Off - Prince
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6msW7wNh85E

MuNcH!

You know those days where you haven't had enough sleep, are completely restless, have 101 things to do and all the while could eat your own body weight in stodge and comfort food... well I'm having one.

I've managed to stave off the cravings so far by drinking a heap of water but I think I'm about to crack.  I think I would wrestle a buffalo for a bowl of macaroni cheese right now.  I'm also pretty confident I would win.


It's on days like this that I'm glad I don't have money to burn as I'd probably end up sitting in a restaurant with eyes bigger than my stomach stuffing my face faster than my body can process the fact I'm full.


I am one of those people that the fullness of my stomach directly relates to the number of chews I have done.  Soup as tasty as it is may fill me up but I somehow never feel satisfied as I haven't got my chomp on.  Carrots on the other hand are suuuuper munchy and so seem to fill me up quickly.  


Right I better go find something to nom!

To mix things up a little 10 things that I would like to do/change/happen in the next year.   

I'd be really interested to see what your lists would be so post them in the comments below :)

1. Qualify from University
2. Land a job that pays well and allows me to be motivated and creative
3. Move apartment to somewhere with a garden
4. Meet and be dating someone who sets me on fire
5. Sing at a public venue (have some friends present)
6. Get lazer treatment on my face for perfect skin
7. Change my look/wardrobe to be slightly older yet still edgy
8. Go on holiday with my close friends
9. Hit my target weight
10. Have a working shoulder and get back into Roller Derby

---------------------------
Serious blast from the past tunage today

Ace Of Base - The Sign

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5fRVm3k1aY

Call Me... No, Don't!

Unable to 'rest' anymore I spoke with my boss on Thursday and she agreed to let me go back to work this week so yesterday I took a deep breath and headed back.  It was great, I missed being busy.  My team were super glad I was back and were full of beans and banter so the shift passed quickly and I am looking forward to work again today.

I had a full and frank conversation with OOJ towards the end of last week, cards on table and told him I was actively dating people again, not that we were dating or anything but I think there was still an air of 'perhaps' in the background.  Anyway he was cool about it and said he was going to ask a girl in his office out for drinks but since he has been calling/texting quite a bit and no... I haven't been replying so much.

On the dating front Red and Wonka seem to be at a bit of a stale mate.  Red has got her sights on the guy we have decided to call Colgate as he has a great smile but as he is offshore they still won't be able to meet for a few weeks, no-one else is really making a huge appearance.  Wonka on the other hand is still playing the numbers game but backed out of the only date she had organised this Saturday saying she was 'too tired', I think it was nerves.  My male friend who also joined the site I'm going to call G-star due to his choice in jeans, still hasn't found anyone of interest.  We headed to the cinema on Sunday and hung out for a few hours, I got the feeling he maybe thought it was a date at the start but I think I subtly made the point it hadn't been by the time it was over.

I did however get pretty drunk on Sunday as G-star and I met a mutual friend in the pub and one cheeky glass of wine rapidly turned into a bottle and me hiccuping my way home at 2:30 having given my number (yes I only remembered this during a flashback on Monday afternoon), given my number to one of the open mic singers... OMG!! He wasn't even cute from what I can remember.  If I could turn back time that may indeed be the moment I pick.  In my local bar too, I couldn't even pick a random person in a random bar I never have to visit again.

Anyway the peach of the whole situ is that after a couple of glasses of vino I got all decisive and text date #1 with 'Hey Handsome are we still meeting this week or are you not feeling it' and to my shock horror he replied, we had a bit of banter to which I called him as 'easy to read as a brick' and something miraculous has since happened...  Dater number one is seriously on board for the meet this week, he was in touch quite a bit yesterday with things to brighten my day and a couple of sweet pictures so apparently slightly insane and uber decisive Ser3ndipity was all that was needed.  I think maybe it was nerves, although he is saying he had a cold.

Right well I am sure that is enough for you bloggeroonies today, you can't say when I decide to date I don't go for it.

--------------------

Semisonic - Closing Time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGytDsqkQY8&ob=av2e