Busses, Bosses and Booze

Just home from the conference with work and I'm shattered.  I'm sure you want to hear me talk about work as much as I want to exfoliate my face with a cheese grater so here are the high/lowlights:

• Coach chattage and giggles
• Getting to know three of my more distant colleagues better
• Planking on top of the retro TV in the hotel.
• Convincing another manager to plank in the bar wearing a onesie
• Rush hour traffic making extending the bus journey 1hr
• Hotel that smells like old people (even if super clean)
• Great Italian food in the hotel restaurant
• Networking with the 'powers that be'
• Free bar
• Sexual advances from a married man
• Married man following me to my bedroom and having to have the door shut in his face.
• Married man knocking at my door 10mins later asking to 'come in for a drink' and being met by the sound of me turning the lock in the door
• Hellish hangover and lack of sleep
• Awful breakfast with sexual harassment married man trying to locate a seat next to me.
• Interesting conference.
• Regret at taking the vegetarian lunch option (plate of carrots and potato...weird!)
• Great bus banter on the coach trip back home.
• Pending facebook 'friend' invite from sexual harassment man

Ola bed!

On The Go

This little chica is on the road tomorrow for a two day conference so it's ola 5hr bus trip (yes bus... my company sees this as team-building as there are approx 50 people travelling) and then hello enforced group dinner and 'please be ok' hotel. 


I am sure there will be a few treats for me to tell you so I shall keep you posted mobile style.


In the mean time, here is a song that has been stuck in my head all day!

Sat on the floor wondering how I got here...

It doesn't matter how hard you try to move on when you have loved someone so deeply the word love itself seemed too little, that person will always have the ability peel back a wound as if it is as fresh as the day they broke your heart no matter how much time has passed.

I had to email Mr X a month or so ago for reasons unrelated to our relationship.  Our exchange was polite yet brief and in some ways was exactly what I needed.  Two days ago I needed to email him again and as a consequence he asked that I unblock him from chatting on my phone so he could fix the problem.  I did, and things went well.  We didn't speak about anything other than the matter at hand but it was pleasant and informal.  Once everything was discussed I wished him well and said goodbye.  He responded by thanking me for UNblocking him.  I know now I should have just left it there but as things usually go when you don't pre-plan I ended up replying to say I had blocked him as we weren't talking and so I wouldn't msg him either as his actions had been pretty clear in letting me know he didn't want to stay in touch any more.  I then left saying pleasant goodbye again.

Unfortunately rather than ending things there this then went on to prompt him to send me a rather long message saying why he had been upset and feeling that way.  It wasn't in an accusatory or argumentative tone, but it wouldn't have been hard not to read with an element of finger pointing.    Again, I shouldn't have, but I replied.  I wasn't argumentative and I left it saying I didn't see the value in the conversation and we should just leave things as water under the bridge as I was sure neither of us wanted to complicate things by arguing.

I hadn't realised straight away but I found myself sat down with tears streaming down my face.  Silent non-blubbering tears, hot and heavy and pouring down my face.  One message and I had somehow been transported back 5months.  

He messaged back shortly after saying that he was saddened by the whole thing but agreed it was all in the past (smiley face).  I decided best to acknowledge his text and so composed myself and sent a short reply to say I was pleased we agreed and to wish him the best again.   

He replied.  He asked how I am doing.  The hot salty tears began to roll down my face again.  I logged out.

I think I will always be in love with Mr X, whether I will meet someone else who will capture my heart in a different but equally strong way I still don't know, but Mr X will always hold a piece of my heart.

I don't wish him anything but a happy and full life, but I can't have him dipping in and out of mine.  He pushed me away, messed me around and hurt me in a way I didn't  even know was possible when he just disappeared.  The end of our relationship first as partners and then as friends caused me enough heartache for ten lifetimes.  I don't want to put myself in a position where he could let me down and break pieces of me again.  

I've no idea if or how to reply.  I would like to leave things with an ending and ignoring a text isn't that but I don't want to get into things or end up hurt again.

<3 ...

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Nikki - How to Break a Heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-otV0FD8Ck

Insomnia II

My brain, my poor brain.

I'm drinking myself to sleep again, nightnurse pills to keep me sane

Drinking myself to sleep again, insomnia.

At this rate I'm going to be looking like a zombie come this work conference on Monday/Tuesday.

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Feeder - Insomnia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6XsYyP1QXw

Insomnia

I feel like I'm beginning to look like Christian Bale in the machinist (minus the super skinny body).  I haven't had a decent nights sleep in about a month, I come home from work late in the evening, try to chill out, go to bed and then just lay there... wide awake!

I bought an eye mask online to assist with the blackout factor and I don't really get noise from the road or other apartments in my block in my bedroom so why oh why can't I sleep.

I've tried: relaxing music, reading, complete sound and light deprivation, early mornings, timetabled bed times, hot baths, TV avoidance and, clean sheets, heavy blankets, light blankets, pyjamas, nudity, turning the heating up, turning the heating down, opening a window, deep breathing, turning my mattress, milky drinks (yuck), avoiding caffeine, food deprivation, counting sheep, exercise and even getting drunk (which actually got me to sleep no problem but didn't help as I woke up feeling like death).

Shattered.com

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Of Mice And Men - When You Can't Sleep At Night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtGl5vvYgVI

Monkey

Today is one of those days when you realise there are about 6 monkeys trying to ride on your back.  You know the people I'm talking about... moderately incompetent, lacking any kind of self-organisation and wanting you to wipe their backside for them.

Well no.  I'm not doing it.

I have always been a sucker for a lost cause but in keeping with my New Years resolution (which I'm doing pretty well with btw), today when three of them tried to jump on board, I sent them packing.

This year is about putting that kind of effort into myself, not helping some other lazy sod to get on top.  I'm saving my energy for purely selfish reasons and the rest can suck it!

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Stephen Fretwell - Run

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCt_w1uThTA

Suggestion 2: Fetish

I'm not going to lie, when one of you gave me this suggestion as a topic to blog on I had a chuckle to myself as some of the fetishes in this world are mind blowing.  I am sure everyone has their own opinion on fetishes and to a certain extent a lot are frowned on, my take is that I'm pro-fetish.  If someone has something that helps them get their mojo on and it doesn't harm anyone or anything else in the process... why not!  

With that said, I pretty much have none of my own.  Like most women out there lingerie makes me feel sexy and I've dabbled in a few things, but I have to say that all in all, to use 'down with the kids ghetto speak' I'm 'vanilla'.  The only two slightly quirky admissions I have are an attraction to the smell of deep heat (no idea why) and kissing someone who has Listerine breath lol.  

Keeping on the theme of all things fetish... Lets have a look at a few which either confuse, or amuse me.

Looners

People who are sexually aroused by balloons.  Yes, these airheads like nothing more than to blow up, roll about on, surround themselves with and sometimes even climb into a balloon.  I can't say any of this activity would turn me on, but for some reason the whole thing amuses me as every time I think of it I picture some super sophisticated stepford wife trying to control her carnal nature while getting the decorations ready for some kind of event.  

Fetish Rating 6/10

Technosexuality

R2D2 and C3PO wouldn't be safe around this group of people who are attracted to robots or people dressed as robots.  Apparently this one is big in Japan (which I'm sure is the capital of fetishism) and the robots can be humanoid or non-humanoid... Does this mean someone, somewhere gets their rocks off looking at a toaster?  The only picture I want to put up here is the one of Howard from the Big Bang Theory when he gets his junk stuck in the hands of a robot hand lol.

Fetish Rating 4/10

Furry Fandom

Dressing up as an animal character and giving that character a human personality.  I stumbled upon this one while watching a TV documentary a few years ago and the clip they chose to show made me laugh so hard wine came out my nose.  As the presenter was taking, in the background there were a heap of people dressed up, talking, playing and some even acting out odd sexual encounters as their animal alias and then it happened.  One genius had an outfit of a fox driving a car and he was just running at the other characters who were having to feign being hit by car and lay on the floor until this other person dressed as a duck with a nurses hat, came to fix them.  It was utter genius.  I like to think that if I ever decided to join the furry fandom, I would have the foresight to give my character a car :)

Fetish Rating 8/10

Objectophilia

This crazy fetish which I struggle to understand is the attraction, sexual feeling and commitment to a particular object (anything from a sofa to a building).  In 1979 a German woman called Erika Effle made headlines by marrying the Berlin Wall, an object she had been obsessed with since a visit to the site age 11, claiming the surname Berliner-Mauer (which means Berlin Wall in German).

Fetish Rating 10/10

Sploshing

This can be sexual or non-sexual and always involves food.  From writhing around in custard to decorating a cake, these fetishists love food and everything about it.  Something I stumbled upon while reading the secret diary of a London call girl.  There is something fun sounding about splodging, at least at an introductory level... its practically an excuse for an adult food fight and for the more infantile among us, there is definitely something appealing about that. 

Fetish Rating 6/10

Pedal Pumping
This one does what it says on the tin and from what I know is predominately a male fetish of watching a female push a pedal...  Think accelerator on a car.  This fetish is also easily adapted to suit any footwear that may take the observers fancy from toe crunching heels to barefoot.
Fetish Rating 2/10

I imagine there is a fetish for everything/anything in this world and despite being a self proclaimed 'vanilla' I think as long as a fetish something that isn't going to hurt anyone or anything (suffocating animals up your bum is just cruel), they are brilliant and just add another layer of colour to the world.

If you have anything you care to admit... post your fetish loves/hates below anonymously :)

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An appropriate choice for today

The Kills - URA Fever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3fZP7QC4PE

Fuuuuuuck

I totally screwed up an assessment for a job today.  I know it isn't the end of the world but ironically I usually ace the things and because this one mattered (one of the middle cogs in a huuuuuge wheel in order to get a job of this type)... I screwed it up by taking too long and having the assessment time out.  Hello auto fail territory.

Rage!

Straightening Priorities

I know I was meant to blog about one of the previously mentioned topics today but I'm feeling less structured.

The group of girls I told you about that I met on gumtree and I have been emailing this last week and cocktails are on the cards this Saturday which sounds great.  There is also talk of an A-Z activity list to give us a challenge and some ideas of fun things to do moving forward.  A will be covered off this Saturday.  A is for Alcohol.  C is already taken with the planning of attendance at a Ceilidh.  I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where X and Z will take us lol.

As for the usual suspects... Red has a new contract so is swamped at the moment.  We are hoping to get a meet organised in the next few weeks.  Gstar is working away but I think a cinema trip is on the cards sometime soon.  Herb and Barron are due to visit in a couple of weeks along with Balloo for my birthday and a gig.  Six has been in Santa Cruz for the last 2 months but is back sometime next month.  Hooch and Waves are having a few domestics (what's new), so I have been keeping my distance.  As for the others that haven't made it as far as getting a nickname on here yet... All is well and everyone is laying low after the holidays.

Love life wise things are definitely on the back burner and I don't think I'm going to look to take them off there any time soon.  Nope, 2012 is going to be about copious amounts of fun for me... well that and a face peel and botox lol

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See if you can work out who this lead singer sounds like... quality tune.

American Bang - Wild and Young

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BZlgCIhyXU

Wiki-disaster

I'm not too up on the whole SOPA-PIPA thing, but one thing I can say for certain is that under no circumstances do I want to imagine a world without wikipedia.

Sort it out!

Tweet or facebook your annoyance: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

Suggestion1: Top 10 M/F

Afternoon bloggers.  I thought over the next 4 days I would cover off the suggestions left by a few of you. I'm leaving out a couple but here is a list of your next 3 days worth of reading:

• Best/worst sex
• Fettishes
• Valentines day

And to kick us off today, we are starting with Top 10 Men/Women (although I am sure we have covered something similar in the past).  This could be interesting as I think looking at the type of person someone is attracted to gives a lot away about their personality.  I have to say though, I am interested to know who your Top 10 are so if the notion takes you... post them in the comments box.

Lets start with the men... 

1. Channing Tatum (Hot, Tall, Athletic, Kissable lips)
2. Ryan Reynolds (Hot, Tall, Athletic, Funny)
3. Jesse Eisenberg (Gorgeous lips, Sexy voice, Intelligent)
4. Ian Somerholder (Tall, Dark, Smouldering eyes, Mischievous smile)
5. Jack Whitehall (Tall, Funky hair, Preppy, Funny)
6. Taylor Lautner (Tall, Athletic, Perfect teeth, Perfect smile)
7. Ashton Kutcher (Tall, Funky, Intelligent)
8. Chad Michael Murray (Tall, Athletic, Preppy)
9. Jared Leto (Funky hair, Intense eyes, Amazing voice)
10. Matt Damon (Perfect teeth, Intelligent, Charismatic)

And here are the girlies (it pays to be bi when doing this one :p)

1. Katherine Moening (Awesome hair, Eyeliner eyes, Androgynous)
2. Kate Hudson (Quirky, Perfect teeth, Funny)
3. Ellen Page (Cute, Intelligent, Great smile)
4. Drew Barrymore (Individual, Quirky, Funky)
5. Sophia Bush (Perfect Teeth, Sexy voice, Awesome figure)
6. Christina Ricci (Sexual, Intense eyes, Individual)
7. Sandra Bullock (Great Smile, Clumsy, Great breasts)
8. Ariana ? from Sorority Girls UK (Perfect teeth, Sexy, Gorgeous figure)
9. Christina Scabbia (Awesome hair, Eyeliner eyes, Great breasts)
10. Sara Rue (Funky, Beautiful smile, Curvacious)

I look forward to seeing what you guys think and who you are attracted to.  Talk about an innocent kick off point for sex and fettishes later in the week lol

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Donna Summers - I Love You Always Forever
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqdWTeXWvOg&ob=av2e

Just A Song

Sometimes... Its all you need to trigger a 1001 memories you forgot you had.

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Ocean Colour Scene - The Day We Caught The Train

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsuC7kTLVU4

Can't Talk Now

It appears my easy to organise full-on weekend plans will all fall by the way side as my cold has officially peaked and I have no voice.  And no, I'm not laying it on thick saying I have no voice when I really have a croaky quieter version (that has come and gone).  I woke up this morning and there is literally no coherent sound coming out of my voice, only a series of bizzare and stinted noises.

I'm still hopeful that things will get better overnight and if I don't use my voice at all today, so I've only cancelled tonight's plans so far and am hoping I will be able to make tomorrow.

The saving grace is that I am on one of my scheduled days off today so I can live it up on the couch, wearing a heap of layers, under a blanket, watching movies.  I might even go one step further and order takeout for dinner so I don't have to cook.

Think I'lll do a topical blog either later this evening or tomorrow so let me know which subjects you fancy deliberating and I will run with one of them.

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Copeland - The Day I Lost My Voice (suitcase song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlPQF0ATGi8

*sniff *cough *splutter

Uuuuuurggghhhhhh I feel dreadful.

You know when you wake up in the morning and you have those few seconds where you kind of wiggle and check your body is in full working order before you start to think about your day?  Well I woke up this morning and within that brief moment in time the words 'ahhhh crap' flew through my mind.

I thought I had hit the hump with my cold a few days ago, but as I work in a really populated place with air-con, needless to say I must have picked up some new germy germs earlier in the week that have since somehow mixed and left my body in a murky mess.

I can't think of anything I would rather do today than eat some hot stodgy food and hide out on my couch, unfortunately I have work.  In normal circumstances I would probably start rescheduling my diary for the rest of the week, giving myself some low-key time to recoup, a spot of admin, report updating, clearing off emails etc.  Alas, the next two days are full of back to back meetings.  

It is APR week for my team and as I prefer to work full-throttle when it comes to appraisals/reviews rather than spread them out over the course of the month, the admin assistant has booked me one after another, after another for the next two days with a mere 30min break each day to take a breath.  Normally I would be pleased, one week and a whole heap of actions completed; this time, not so much.

I want layers, lots and lots of clothing layers, fingerless gloves, a hat, a scarf (definitely a scarf), a blanket, an unlimited supply of hot drinks, home made carb loaded food and a selection of movies to fall asleep to.  I definitely don't want hour after hour of meetings, stats analysis, difficult conversations and expectation setting.  

Oh well, in the words of the Rolling Stones... 'You can't always get what you want'

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Rizzle Kicks - Mamma Do The Hump

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxEINSBsbeo

Social Calendar

As the next three months are set to be ones for big changes... new city, new job etc.  I have decided to party hard at the same time.

I put myself on a social networking site for meet ups the other day not knowing what to expect but to my surprise it is just a bunch of cool people organising high and low-key nights all over the city.  It isn't for singles and the mix of people seems to be vast.  I'm booked on my first social this Friday at a rock bar so I will keep you posted.  If it goes well I might use the same site to link up with people when I am travelling with work too.

I also stumbled upon a woman who posted an amusing ad on gumtree and replied to find out several other girls in their late 20's and early 30's had done also.  We are having our first meet this Saturday afternoon at a coffee house.  

So as you can see bloggers, all in all I may have managed to organise myself a rather busy social calendar moving forward with minimal effort and maximum impact.  Hurrah!

1, 2, 5...9... eek!

It may make your teeth purple and your lips black but when you can't be assed to walk to the fridge to fill your glass up a drink best served at room temperature is your best friend :)

Would you rather walk backwards the rest of your life or stump your toe every time you took a step forward?

Would you rather be completely bald (no eyebrows, no hair, no eyelashes) or have blue skin?

I could contemplate 101 things but the only subject on my mind this evening is one of numbers.  I just watched the film 'what's your number?' and let me tell you...  If the average person sleeps with 10.5 people in their lifetime... I am seriously oversubscribed!  Also, apparently any female who has slept with over 20 people is destined to be single forever... well 97% anyway.  Sheesh!

Which brought me to my task for the evening (bottle of red in hand), to make my 'list'.  How many people have I slept with anyway, and will I be joining the 97th percentile?

The good news is that I have yet to reach the dizzy heights of 20.  The not so good new is that 10.5 passed long ago and making my list was waaaaaaaaay harder than expected.  I can't remember the name of one guy entirely, have forgotten the surname of several and to be honest feel I may have missed a few along the way.  Oh dear!

For those of you who have been following me a while you will know that I don't really qualify to fall into the category of 'slut' but seriously... who knew I would make it to the 'trollop' grey area.

*sigh

This week no less than 2 men have told me that I would make a 'great girlfriend', both of which are in relationships... think I have hit that horrible land of almost 30 and single desperados.  Oh dear.

So my number... its 15.

What's yours?

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Benjamin Taylor - Wicked Way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrpYBm1inNs

Missed...

Last night I was struggling to get to sleep as my shoulder was being gnarly and so I was messing about on my phone and decided to clear my 'chat history' on whattsapp and in my messages.  A simple task I hear you say... Wrong!

I had a huge debate with myself when I had deleted all the messages from Mr X about whether to block him also.  We haven't spoken since September (I'm not going to go on about that though), but there is still a little part of me that despite not calling, emailing or texting him doesn't want to completely cut off all lines of communication.  

Anyway, after some thought, I decided I would block him as if he really needed to get hold of me he could call.  I started adding his numbers to the block list and then the unthinkable happened.   My shoulder went into some kind of mad spasm making me drop my phone and as I picked it up I realised it was dialling his number (4am his time).  I clicked 'end call' as soon as I realised but was convinced I had heard it ring before I got to it.  After a few icy cold moments of panic I decided not to worry about it and that I was probably just being paranoid and the phone hadn't actually managed to make a connection, after all, it would have been an International call and the phone couldn't have been out of my hand more than a couple of seconds... Wrong!

This morning I awoke to a text from Mr X wishing me a Happy belated New Year, asking if I was ok as he had missed a call from me while he was sleeping... SHIT!

I wasn't sure whether to text back, ignore the message, be nice and pretend like everything was ok explain the situation and wish him happy new year too or to send a snotty reply along the lines of 'why do you give a shit, go back to being invisible'.  Don't get me wrong, I am sure like many of you reading this, in the past (and I'm not proud of it) have played the  dropped call game.  This however, was a genuine and most irritating mistake.

I decided to opt for the short and simple response of 'I dropped my phone, sorry if it woke you.  Serendipity'  

I'm not sure it was the right msg to send.  I mean, he had received a dropped call from me at some crazy ass time in the morning and had text to see how I was as soon as he got up.  He had tried to be pleasant with the whole Happy New Year thing, but who are we kidding, that was more of a 'felt it mandatory' than anything else or he would have text on the 1st.  Still,  I am really annoyed at the whole situation and to be honest found it worryingly upsetting and I'm sure I will despite my best efforts end up deliberating my response for a while yet.

Damn my sodding female hormones and inability to just not give a shit.

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Frou Frou - Let Go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13WAhlE02ew&feature=related

Grab Your Coat...

I was talking to a guy in work today and I'm not sure how the subject came up amid reports and stats analysis but we got onto the topic of 'chat-up lines'.  He seemed to think they were all a total waste of time, I on the other hand stood firmly on the angle that even the most hideous chat-up line can be successful if delivered by a hot enough guy with a little charm and a sarcastic smile.

To be honest I used to hate all chat-up lines but a few years ago even I had to take my imaginary hat off to the intelligence of one delivered to me a few years ago.  I was in a crowded bar on a Friday night after work and was approached by a guy who was attractive but clearly fell into the category of 'charmer' and as such would have ordinarily made it onto my 'avoid' list.  As he made his way beside me through the crowd at the bar I knew he had clocked me and was about to make his move so had my brush off ready to go but his well worded introduction came from left field...

'Hi'

'Hey'

'Listen would... You know what, never mind.  I was going to offer to buy you a drink and ask your name, but I can tell that you and I would never work'

(delivered with a cheeky smile) 

'erm... ok'

(ohhhh good because now I want to ask why)

Before I knew it, he and his friend had joined our table and we were sharing a bottle of wine.

So in the spirit of all things chat-up line related I thought I would google those listed as 'Top 10' and tell you what I think.

1. "I just thought you should know that you have a really nice...."
   If the guy is attractive I am sure this one would work but I'm not a fan, it is too schmoozy
2. "Wow! I really like that (insert item of clothing or fragrance) you're wearing."
   WAY too obvious
3. "Would you like an escort to your... ?"
   Run! Run away and never look back.  This reeks of dare I say it... date-rape
4. "You look like you might be interested in some great conversation."
   This would instantly convince me the guy was up his own ass and likes to play the numbers game.
5. "Don't you find this place...?"
   I think it would be very difficult to find an ending to this sentence that didn't sound either overly enthusiastic or pompous
6. "Excuse me, can you help me with...?"  
   A very mediocre line if you are trying to come in on the charm offencive.
7. "Do you come here often? I could use your opinion about something.... "
   Simply awful.
8. "Can I interest you in a glass of... ?"
   Talk about uncreative and seriously... This is dangerous territory for a man to use unless he wants to open himself up to being a human cash-point for the night.
9. "Would you like to dance?"
   I actually really like this one.  Most girls/women I know love to dance and its a very retro yet fun introduction.
10. "Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
    No, it isn't but if you think I'm going to give you my attention after you sit down, you have another thing coming.

What do you think bloggers... do you have any fave's?

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The Rolling Stones - Beast of Burden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tRdBsnX4N4

Resolution Time

So it's that time of year again where we all make 101 promises we don't keep, people go on cabbage soup diets, everyone hits the gym and at least 3 of your friends have declared a 'detox' all to fall apart and usually before February 1st.

I'm not big on resolutions to be honest as I think big changes in anyone's life tend to happen more organically, but as this year I shall be turning 30 as well I  decided to have a long hard think about something that I could do, that I would be able to keep momentum in, and that would benefit me in the long run... To help people less.

Yes bloggers, you read right.  My resolution for 2012 is to 'help people less'.  It may sound completely selfish but trust me when I say I think it is a long time coming.  You see, for those of you who have been reading my blog a while you will have seen that I somehow always end up with a 'pet project', someone whose life is more screwed up than mine, is on the brink of depression, and somehow I always end up being the therapist.  Well no more.

I'm not going to lie, this is a circle I have been down several times, to the point that more than one person has pointed out I am the character in the film Sweet November, and I have likened myself to Iris in The Holiday, but the events of 2011 have definitely been enough to make me realise that the time and energy I put into these people is not only wasted, but could be better spent elsewhere... improving myself.

On the run up to Christmas one of my cats was really unwell, I had to take him to the vet and as a result (long story short) he needed to go back to the vet for a follow up on Christmas Eve, the day after I was meant to head to my mum/brother's for the holidays.  Anyway the G-Star was due to stay at my house during this time but had to work at the time of the appointment and so I had to ask Wonka if she could take the cat to the vet for me (would have taken 30mins tops out of her day).  Wonka was the perfect choice, she had finished work the week before, had already finished her Christmas shopping and as she still lives at home with her folks, had absolutely nothing to organise.  Yet, and yes you have guessed it... She refused to help.  I left her a voicemail and text in the morning (4days before Xmas eve) and despite knowing she has her phone  permanently glued to her hand, she didn't contact me until late that evening when I received a text saying she said she was 'too busy'.  

To put the whole thing into perspective...  I completely understand that Christmas Eve is the worst time to ask for someone to help, and had Wonka called me back and said 'hey I'm sorry but I have X, Y, Z to do' I would have said 'hey thanks for getting back to me, no problem' but there are several facts that made the whole thing hard to swallow:

• In the last 6months I have been an emotional crutch to Wonka.  We are talking phone calls with tears and worries first thing in the morning, last thing at night and sometimes in the middle of the night.  I have helped her gain confidence, widen her social circle, have helped her with work worries, boyfriend issues, dating, the list is endless.
• Wonka has invited herself to my house on several occasions to 'get away from it', and each time I have shifted plans to help support her as much as possible.  A whole weekend of a depressed and needy person isn't exactly my idea of fun either.
• Not once have I asked Wonka to do me a favour.
• I let Wonka know that she was my last resort and unless she would be able to take less than an hour out to help me out (she has a car), I was going to have to miss Christmas with my family (I hadn't seen them for over 7mths).
• The day Wonka was 'too busy' to help she posted and checked-in on Facebook several times at coffee shops, parks, etc with a friend she sees 3/4 times a week.  Once even to say she had been on a relaxed day of fun.

As you can tell... Straw and camel.  Needless to say I deleted Wonka from Facebook, blocked her from whattsapp, and haven't replied to a text or email since (she has sent several).  Fuck it!  If the one and only time I have asked her for help she can't be assed when she has the time and means to do so... well then, I need her friendship like a hole in the head.

Anyway what it all boils down to is a wake up call.  I mean, Wonka is only one example and I could think of a heap, Mr X, and Six just to name a couple and now it's time for a change.

Oh and another thing...  If my life isn't looking more lined up by 2013... I'm going to actively start putting things into place to become a solo parent.   Think >>>

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This Ain't A Love Song - Scouting For Girls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=886AQqcM8Tk