Tuesday 18 October 2011

Weapons of Mass Destruction

On my way home from work last night some guy tried to grab my bag.  I work too hard for my money to let some chump to just snatch it so he got what was coming to him... a mouthful of abuse and a slap across the face with my shopping... a 1kg bag of carrots.  Needless to say he re-assessed the situation and went on his way.

This is now the second time I've had an incident in this city and the second time I've refused to give up the goods.  Don't get me wrong, ask me in the cold light of day what my reaction would be and I'd probably say 'give them what they want, life is too short' but in the moment I always, without a doubt stick it to them and leave with all of my belongings.  I think I might be a closet Rambo lol.

I've a few scratches on my arm today from the incident but nothing that won't disappear in a few days.  I may get a lift home from work this next week though as I feel it was perhaps opportunistic people taking advantage of the fact no-one is out in the wet/cold/dark during the evening.

Anyway on a lighter note I thought I would give you my top ten unusual weapons of mass destruction:


After last night this has to be number 1.  A bag of unassuming carrots, heavy, easy to swing at faces and in a stylish orange these are a must have for any street-savvy 20-something year old woman.

At number 2 we have an upturned plug.  I think it is safe to say that standing on one of these bad boys is one of the most painful experiences a girl/guy can have.

Winging its way into number 3 we have deep heat spray.  As pepper spray is illegal in the UK (and we wouldn't want to break the law) this cunning alternative will not only blind an assailant but comes in handy for any aches/pains incurred in a struggle.

At number 4 we have a cat.  Should someone ever try to break into my house, without a doubt one of my first choices of weapon would be to throw one of my cats at his/her face.  'Clawarific'

The 5th and final weapon is the classic whistle.  Inspired by actions taken by my mum growing up, this bad-boy ensures crank callers only ever call once.  No home is complete without this landline safety device.

------------------------------
Eminem - Not Afraid

No comments:

Post a Comment

Twitter Bird Gadget